Temporarily Depressed

I think most people who know me would likely say that I am a positive, competent person. Well, currently those qualities within me are being overridden by clinical depression. It's just temporary ... I hope to be more like my healthier self within a few weeks hopefully.

I debated going public with this ... some people can get uncomfortable with this type of thing. Some people can't relate to it ... some people are quite familiar with it. I thought I'd share this with you for a couple of reasons ... 1) to help some of you understand and 2) to perhaps somehow help me get better, faster. This is the third time in my life I've had to battle depression, so I know the terrain. For me it's a bumpy ride right now, but it won't last forever. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

If you have never been diagnosed / treated for depression, maybe you can think of depression as a kind of flu. It is an illness that is temporary (in my case) and treatable. I am on medication and seeing (3) doctors. I currently have difficulty with many things ... am easily overwhelmed ... at times angry, tired, weak, emotionally empty, unmotivated, uncaring, sad, drained. At times I will be short on patience ... some of the time I will be on the edge of tears. I have a hard time doing pretty much anything ... getting me off the couch is a challenge ... simple things like shaving or brushing my teeth can be very hard. I know that this will all pass in time.

If you see me out and about, it means that I have forced myself to get up and away from the couch. It probably has taken considerable effort. I know that trying to stay active is important to overcome this, so I will do my best to make it it happen. As with any health condition, we have a certain amount of control ...  I want to be healthy. I want to be energetic, active and positive. I will do my best to get back on track ASAP. (but it may take a little time and patience).

By the way- I'm not suicidal ... I would never do anything to harm myself. These days I just want to get healthy. I feel the weight of the world upon me. I can't seem to get a deep breath. Stairs can be daunting. I know that exercise, sleep and a healthy diet can help speed recovery, so I am doing my best to make healthy choices when I can ... some days I don't do so well, and some days are at least tolerable.

Please don't tell me to "look on the bright side" or "cheer up". I appreciate you care, but if you can't relate, please don't try to help or suggest things. Hugs are welcome (now or anytime), but don't feel like you should try to solve anything. I know what I have to do ... it may take some time, patience and fortitude, but it will be ok.

For now, please just understand that if I am a little quiet or withdrawn, if I am unmotivated, empty and lack energy, it's only temporary. I don't have much energy, but I will do all I can to get better soon. I don't enjoy being sick ... I am grateful for supportive people around me that are helping me back to better health.

I'll be ok.     In a while.