I feel like a placeholder these days. I'm here in body, but my spirit is a numb, empty shell.
It's hard to do anything when all you feel is nothing.
I want to go back to work, but it may be hard without any spark.
The responsibilities and expectations of the world become overwhelming and paralyze me ... it drains me and I find myself shutting down.
Maybe the "fake it 'till you make it" approach might work. Just get back out there and put on a brave face ... suck it up and get on with it.
Right now, I just want to hide. Here at home it's safe ... comfortable ... easy ... simple. It's a good place to retreat from the cold, angry world.
There are some days when I feel like I am winning the battle ... but today is a struggle.
Despite my wanting to get healthy ASAP and get back to work, my doctor reminds me to be patient and perhaps wait for more consistent good days. I am disappointed, but can see that I may not be up to it just yet.
I will continue to work towards getting healthier and focus on rebuilding ...
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