As a male, many of us are expected to be towers of strength, powerful and steadfast ... so when I decided to go public on this blog about my depression, I knew there may be a few people around who might have a few raised eyebrows.
It can be difficult as a man to give ourselves permission to cry. It can be counter intuitive to embrace feelings. Society generally has a perception of a tearful male as weak. I believe it is likely unhealthy to deny feelings.
To carry on as if nothing is wrong may be reassuring to many, but it's a lie. To show ones vulnerable side may make some people uncomfortable, but that is merely a reflection of themselves.
I am not confined by preconceived notions of what a man "should" be. I strive to be a good male role model, dependable, intelligent and capable ... and while I may be temporarily on the sidelines, I know I will be back in the game soon.
As humans, we sometimes fall. Hopefully we are not down for too long ... but we have to get back up. In some ways, we have come a long way. I'm pretty sure 50 years ago anyone depressed would not have access to to the resources to heal properly.
Lately, life really has no passion ... no spark. I am stable, but numb. I guess it's better than teary and sad.
I have a little more energy than I did a couple of weeks ago ... not huffing and puffing when doing the stairs as much.
Every day I feel like I am climbing, bit by bit, out of that dark hole called depression. I think I am on track to go back to work in a couple of weeks ...
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