two steps forward, one step back

Today I am frustrated ... short on patience and angry. There is no good reason for any of it ... really ... but it is what is.

I really wanted to go back to work next week. I want to be healthy and back to being my old self again. I want to be positive and happy and helpful. Unfortunately, I went to see my doctor this morning and he has recommended a return date of May 15th ... uggghhh! I hope to go back AT LEAST a week earlier ... May 6th is my personal target date now.

I guess I need more patience. It probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to go back to work if I am angry and impatient. Working with children takes a lot of patience. It's frustrating ... I miss the kids and wish I could return to work. Until I can have more consistent good days, I guess it's for the best ... I have to listen to the doctor.

I am mad at the world today. I wish I could be happy and positive, but the world sucks.

I want to be a good role model for the kids, so I hope to conquer this soon. Right now, I kind of feel lost. I am lost in a labyrinth of blackness trying to find my way back to the light.

I am not a weak person. I am a strong, competent person who is just temporarily in need of a little help. I will be back in the game in a few weeks ... I know I will ...